Welcome to the Telly blog!

Every bird has their day…

21st November 2012

…and if we mean “their day” as in mass murder and consumption of tasty meats at their expense, then yes. Thanksgiving is “their day!” OMNOMNOM.

But Turkey-day isn’t always about gorging your meat-hole full of worm gobblers and slithering down granny’s mint jelly masterpiece. You should behave yourself at the dinner table…civilized and proper…like Billy (death to brussel sprouts)! Here, you learn the proper etiquette of Thanksgiving.


For most of us, however, Thanksgiving IS about mass consumption and proving our quality as bonafide food storage containers. This classic Epic Meal Time episode challenges even the finest of food warriors. It’s a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird, wrapped in pig and garnished with Wendy’s Baconators! 70,000+ calories. Not your mommy’s bird.


Some of us aren’t lucky enough to have an oven to roast up the seasonal dirty bird. And in some parts of AMURRRIKA your extra cash only goes as far as the scope of your semi-automatic rifle. For those of you who don’t speak AMURRRIKAN like these fine citizens, if you want to roast a turkey in the south…you’re gonna need that AK-47 from Skeeter’s gun rack. Yeehaw!


You’ve spent time learning proper etiquette at the Thanksgiving dinner table, consumed over SEVENTY THOUSAND calories, and roasted a turkey southern-style w/ hollow point ballistics. ‘Atta boy! Now it’s time for a post-feast and pre-coma work out! These guys do all the hard work for you and report back that turkey tether ball, relay racing, even turkey golf is not the athlete’s choice. But there is 1 sport. Truly, they are the pioneers of turkey athletics.


blog comments powered by Disqus